Lets talk about Love....

“According to Greek Mythology, humans were originally created with four arms, four legs and a head with two faces. Fearing their power, Zeus split them into two separate beings, condemning them to spend their lives in search of their other halves.”

-Plato

I love Greek mythology. I love Greek mythology because it gives life and meanign to things we can't explain. Plato's story of two people forced to wander the stars looking for each other has an ability to capture that feeling of lost love.

I think it captures the essence of loneliness.

In my mind, lately, I have felt lost. Due to my recent roller-coaster of a relationship; Maybe I just can't imagine someone being able to love me unconditionally. Or has love become, like this story, a myth? Is there even a point in trying? Is there really? To be able to fully give yourself over to someone and let them see every part of you; is it really worth the heart break in the end? Because it seems to me that it all ends in heartbreak;

 I distinctly remember the feeling of realizing the person you love no longer love you back. “I never loved you…This was all a mistake” Those words replay in my head every time I start to feel okay again. I’m not some huge wreck who can’t leave her house, but I am in a stage where I don't know really know what to do anymore. I feel extremely lost. I gave up a large part of my life for someone and look where it got me? It feels like it was all a dream; like it was another life.  

I would never wish that feeling upon anyone. No one deserves to feel like that; to feel that love is just a distant dream that can never be achieved; at such a young age, empty and broken. I look around at the relationships that surround me today and I cannot even begin to understand how they work. I look at my best friends falling in love and I can't help but want to scream at them "None this is real!”

 Because to me right now; it’s not. 

I’m not in any place to want to love somebody right now. That just were I am right now. I feel very stuck. It has taken me a long time to be okay with that. For the first time in a long time I am okay with being alone. Sometimes you need to be alone for a while to be able to find yourself again. Plato said that “Every heart sings a song, incomplete, until another heart whispers back. Those who wish to sing always find a song. At the touch of a lover, everyone becomes a poet." That’s what I am doing right now.

 I am trying to sing a song again.

For see the full story http://9gag.com/gag/a4KMVrv/according-to-greek-mythology-humans-were-originally-created-with-4-arms-4-egs-a-head-with-2-faces

Well here we go....Lets talk about High School

3/28/2014

Rainy Day Rant

Rumors

On this rainy day i had been thinking and think it is time to address something i have to deal with on a daily basis.... Rumors, and a hell of a lot of them.Being a 17 year old girl in a small town pretty much guarantees you're the queen of gossip.Nobody loves high school, the only people who love high school are the two or three super popular kid who everybody secretly hates but is totally 100% obsessed with .In every high school theres cliches;the band kids, the popular kids, the emos and the mean girls. Or in my high school, the round table and long table kids.The long table kids are the "popular kids" the kids who think they drink  a lot and throw parties in the garages and basements of their parents houses. The round table kids are the performing arts kids, the emos, the asians, the rejects and pretty much any body who is different and creative in any way. Because of some cool "New Kid' stamp i received when i moved to this god forsaken town a few years ago, i have made it to the accepting arms of the long table kids...kind of.Popularity is literally based on how hard you party and how pretty you are. If you look the part you get the part. It like the first day of middle school life hands us our social labels and were stuck with whatever fate was forsaken upon us.I got tagged with the music kid, i'm "artsy" cause i have a cool voice and wear a lot of flannels. oh well better than being a slut.oh! wait... i forgot thats the new "thing" apparently,the more guys you sleep with helps you get invited to all the parties, and we all know parties means popularity sooo... Everyone wants what they can't have, in a small town, word tend to travel a little fast.Its all about the gossip.  The thing i love about rumors is that they always tend to have a little truth to them; someone doesn't just think of an elaborate lie and then purposely tell everyone they know....well unless you're a complete wacko with some serious attention problems (you'll know who you are).So at the end of every rumor is a story.  My favorite kinds of people are people who think its okay to do sneaky things and expect to get away with it. Theres no such things as secrets anymore. People love to talk. Its ridiculous the things you'll hear or more like what people will tell you. The other day a girl i barely knew told me she had a pregnancy scare! Its like theres no boundaries anymore to what someone will say. But what do i know... Guess i just like talking about high school.